thoughts on love (hold your breath, this is rare)

So I watched Australia at this time last night, and Elizabeth and I have just finished When Harry Met Sally.
Clearly I'm in a girl world mood. Watching girl world movies, having girl world discussions about girls in the world, the world of girls, and any other confusing syntactics pertaining to females and our surroundings. (Hehehe, figured I'd pull out an English major word to redeem myself from pathetic girliness. Did it work?)

At the end, Harry bravely says:
I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Yes, people, I know. I know that screenwriters of romantic comedies wait for that moment in the movie--that moment when although you know the stubborn man and sad-but-in-love woman will inevitably kiss and be happy--the writers have to create tension in which the resolution is a string of beautifully honest (or seemingly honest) words that make women grin and sigh. In this moment, men are slightly put at east because, let's face it, Billy Crystal is hilarious, and the smart screenwriter inserts slight humor to appease the reality of man world and the near-reality of girl-world.
And I love that right after this quote, they kiss and then Billy/Harry starts asking about what Auld Lang Sine means. At least randomness is a tad realistic, right?

I guess that's what I expect of love--not sappy and sweet lovey lines, but honesty. I want love to be honest, and that's why I've given up on becoming a cool, crazy old cat lady. Because when I see relationships that have lasted and endured without major erosion, I see the honesty of feelings and decisions and battles and scars and I see the healing behind scars and the love behind battles and the balance behind decisions, and the honesty behind feelings.

And what's so honest about love is that not everyone grows to love the hour-long decision of ordering a sandwich or talking with someone before going to bed. And love isn't about deciding not to be lonely anymore. That's what I considered for a while-- that I'd eventually get to a point where, after extensive schooling and career stuff, I'd get tired of being alone and eventually marry.
I'm speaking honestly, here. I really thought that. That's how my relationships normally go: okay, here's an available, convenient guy, I'll give it a go. Shortly after....nah, I'm okay alone. I'd prefer it, actually.

But I don't really like that back-and-forth frame of mind. It plays with my emotions and makes me sound like an advantageous a-hole, to be quite honest.

The fact is...I don't want to try the love thing because I'm lonely or needing something. I need to be honest with myself, and I think a lot of people need to be honest with themselves, too.
Doing the love thing or the marriage thing shouldn't be the habitual equivalent of doing the school thing because you're supposed to.
Just like you shouldn't date someone just because they're in the same city or state...
or country, for that matter.
Sometimes it's okay to reach beyond the realm of convenience and even expectation.

:)

okay, you can breathe now. i promise to talk about something else next post...like toenails or the way peanut butter feels in my mouth.