Tears, Travels, and Tonga

Weirdest 3 weeks of my life. I get home from Belgium after a summer of living in my suitcase for SportQuest Ministries. I started in Indianapolis, worked as in intern, co-led the Indy Project for 10 days, then went to Belgium for a 3 week mission. I returned on a Saturday in Indy, went to Louisville on Monday, stayed until Saturday, and got to Scottsville on Saturday night (Aug 14), where I've been since.
I applied for the Peace Corps at the end of January/beginning of Feb. The day I submitted my application, I received an email from the founder of SQ, asking me to consider moving to Belgium next summer for at least 2 years to work with the SQ Belgium team as a missionary. Wow.
To be honest, I didn't pray about it a whole lot during the semester. I wanted the Peace Corps. Then I graduated, moved home, and within 3 days I was driving to Indianapolis for my adventurous summer, living with a host family who I didn't know, working in a church where I'd never been, and rooming/working with a girl I'd never met. In the SQ atmosphere, I felt like I was learning a lot about the organization... well, about missions in general. I did things way out of my comfort zone (like soliciting for food, for example,) and I worked in an environment that doesn't particularly suit my working preference (at a desk, in front of a computer... doing computery desk things. My ADD kicks in a lot. And my eyes hurt.)
The Indy Project was mine and Laura's baby--we organized it all. The hairiest details, the largest activities. We (wo)manned the thing. But it was frustrating. I felt at the mercy of people rather than God, and I felt spiritually suffocated. I thought, "No, No way. There is no way I can be a missionary when I can't even handle a 10-day project!" I cried a lot in a 10-day period. I was utterly frustrated with myself because I could not reach God. I was supposed to be a leader here, yet I couldn't even feel God's presence. Frustration.
Then Belgium happened, and in case you have never heard me talk about it, Belgium is pretty much my heart-home. The people there, the churches, the youth, and of course, the SQ peeps. It is all just absolutely amazing. I could work with these people, cry to these people, talk about things I actually LIKE to talk about with people...and only get slight "you ARE weird" looks. These people understand me, they love me, they make me feel comfortable. Then the wheels started turning, of course, and I thought, "OH no. Maybe I AM supposed to be here."
So I come back. In my week at Louisville, I felt nearly committed. I gave an 80% Yes to the director for my moving to Belgium, which would've required 10 months of hard-core fund- and support-raising. I talked with a lot of people about it. I couldn't come to a peaceful conclusion...it was still a little murky. Then I started questioning my motives for things. I figured out some selfishness on both ends (PC and SQ), and I even made a Pros and Cons list in my notebook. I had a Skype Date with my Belgian Mission BFF Girl Mentor until 3am because I had 6 days until my decision was to be made to the director.
Here was the dilemma: I was nominated for the program in Africa to leave in November, and they usually send you an invitation 6 weeks in advance. Which meant I still had another month...yet I hate 6 days to decide! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Frustration to the max.
I had my Skype date on Monday night/Tuesday morning...the 23rd. On the 24th, a Placement Officer from the PC called to touch base and to ask my permission to be switched as a nominee to a different program leaving in October. Pacific Islands. Picture: big eyes, open mouth, slight stutter, rumbling thoughts, rumbling excitement, rumbling interjections...
The story gets a tad more complicated.
**PS, I apologize for the length. I just want the story to go down in history! Okay.
The story gets a tad more complicated. My former roomie is getting married Oct. 16. I'm a bridesmaid, I tell the lady officer. "Oh," she says, "You'll leave before then."
Basically, the Pacific Islands were my only shot unless I wanted to leave after January and risk my file even being considered. I said DO IT.
She sent the invitation THAT day, as I received an email the following day to tell me my invitation was sent.
I didn't know the country, I didn't know any details...when I would leave, la la la.

Drum roll...
I leave on October 5th for a 2-day orientation in some major city that I"ll find out in a couple of weeks, and on Oct. 7 I ship out to TONGA! I receive training until Dec. 16, when my service as a teacher starts. The kids are out of school the first 6 weeks my service begins, but I"ll be put into various community projects to become more unified (and talked about, I'm sure :)) in this dominantly Christian culture. On an island. For 2 years. ON AN ISLAND! Like a Pacific one! Surrounded by the Pacific Ocean...!

When I found out I was getting the invitation, I immediately called the SQ director, and told him that I was 100% PC. I can tell you exactly why. Because with PC, I had confidence out my ears. With SQ, I felt hesitant and not fully at peace. With PC, I felt 100% excitement, but with SQ, the hesitancy lessened the Jamie Excitement Factor. You know what that is, right? The JEF? If you have known me long, you know when I'm excited. It can be obnoxious and sometimes overwhelming, but if you're reading this, you love me, so you can deal. :D

So NOW...Jamie is leaving in 5 weeks and 3 days. For Tonga. A kindgom in the Pacific Isands with a constitutional monarchy and papayas and mangoes, where I have to wear long skirts and dresses, where I'll bike and boat a lot, where I'll struggle under a more conventional patriarchy (Lord help me,) where I may or may not live alone with or without electricity, where I may have to eat corned beef (Lord help me more), where I can hike up a volcanic mountain, where I can swim in the Pacific Ocean, where I can dance traditional dances and sing in church choirs, where internet could be twice a week or once a month, where men try to marry me off, where I'll stutter through my beginning stages of Tongan, where I'll have 3 pairs of shoes (what a relief, too,) and where I'll probably be nicknamed the Pale Face, only in Tongan. Guys, the Jamie Excitement Factor has exploded.

I see it as a new season of LOST.
LOST--Tonga: The Jamie Chronicles

It has potential.