God bless Ms. Adkins, my high school Spanish teacher, who blessed me with the strategies to learn foreign languages (in a sense...because technically, I'm only fluent in English. Oh well.) To be honest, I think she was in the Witness Protection Program because she vanished once in the middle of the semester, and then she just up and vanished one summer and never came back. Strange. Anyway, she was the first to introduce the "Flash Card" technique, and I feel very proud to be using it now as I learn Tongan.
Hehe. Did you hear that? I'm learning Tongan. It just SOUNDS cool!
SO: Tongan is a cool language. It has 17 letters in the alaphabet (including the ', which called a faka'ua), and the ng (pronounce like in singing...it's soft).
My favorite word so so far is fakamolemole (sorry), and I also like the sound of pa'anga (money), although I won't have a lot of pa'angas. However, the PC gives me a stipend of the average income sum in the village/city/island where I'll be.
An island! I'm living on an island! AHHHHHHHHH!
Anyway, I've gotten the first load of paperwork/homework done (apply for PC passport, read 3-4 diff. handbooks, contact loan officials--damn student loans,) and now I am giving away half my closet (I mean, I don't want them to sit in my closet two years to collect dust and minor borrow-age from my sister,) researching shoes to buy, painting, etc. Within 1-2 weeks I will receive my traveling information for "Staging", which is the orientation event in a major US city. I'll stay there 2 days and then ship off to meet my new Tongan life! The PC will give me the information--city, hotel, lalala, and then I'll have to make the reservations with this travel agency place.
I thought flying by myself to Belgium was one thing--I felt very grown up and adultish when I did--but NOW I even have to arrange my own transportation from the city airport to the hotel...as in a taxi or something! I know my small town-ness is definitely showing up, and I've even been in a taxi in DC for the inauguration, but my mind is just wobbling with all these small and huge details.
This is also quite shallow of me, but the obesity rate in Tonga is either the 1st or 2nd highest in the world. I'm scared. I'll leave it at that.
BUT I'll also get to eat mangoes and papayas! Now that is flippin cool.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Mental Processing
I don't know that I've ever been so mentally preoccupied in my life. I'm a mental pinball, bouncing from mental reminders to call the loan department, call the clothing boutique, call friends to hang out before I become a Tongan for 2 years; write my statements for the Tongan office, write updates in my journal, write on my blog, write messages to people I won't see for a long time, write thank you notes for mission supporters, clean my room...once a week, clean out my closet, organize my closet, organize the clothes I'm getting rid off (hence the boutique), organize my shopping list, organize my necessities, organize my bank account (yikes), do my language exercises, start running, find ways to make quick money (without selling my body), make my own skirts for Tonga, research the best hiking boots and sandals, make Jamie time for ukulele and piano, try to resist the mountain range that's trying to grow on my chin, find my electrical converter, go through my underwear drawer (woah, I remember these! I bought these when I was 14!), figure out insurance things, read through the handbook, get rid of more clothes (holy cow, Jamie, why did you NEED this many hoodies?), stop biting my fingernails, pay credit card bill, try to fix mp3 player, paint things--like my dirty white Tom's that need life in color, study more Tongan, remain calm, breathe, read books, mail things to the Peace Corps, email things to the PC office in Tonga, study more Tongan, try to stay sane, watch movies I won't see for a long time, just breathe...
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tears, Travels, and Tonga
Weirdest 3 weeks of my life. I get home from Belgium after a summer of living in my suitcase for SportQuest Ministries. I started in Indianapolis, worked as in intern, co-led the Indy Project for 10 days, then went to Belgium for a 3 week mission. I returned on a Saturday in Indy, went to Louisville on Monday, stayed until Saturday, and got to Scottsville on Saturday night (Aug 14), where I've been since.
I applied for the Peace Corps at the end of January/beginning of Feb. The day I submitted my application, I received an email from the founder of SQ, asking me to consider moving to Belgium next summer for at least 2 years to work with the SQ Belgium team as a missionary. Wow.
To be honest, I didn't pray about it a whole lot during the semester. I wanted the Peace Corps. Then I graduated, moved home, and within 3 days I was driving to Indianapolis for my adventurous summer, living with a host family who I didn't know, working in a church where I'd never been, and rooming/working with a girl I'd never met. In the SQ atmosphere, I felt like I was learning a lot about the organization... well, about missions in general. I did things way out of my comfort zone (like soliciting for food, for example,) and I worked in an environment that doesn't particularly suit my working preference (at a desk, in front of a computer... doing computery desk things. My ADD kicks in a lot. And my eyes hurt.)
The Indy Project was mine and Laura's baby--we organized it all. The hairiest details, the largest activities. We (wo)manned the thing. But it was frustrating. I felt at the mercy of people rather than God, and I felt spiritually suffocated. I thought, "No, No way. There is no way I can be a missionary when I can't even handle a 10-day project!" I cried a lot in a 10-day period. I was utterly frustrated with myself because I could not reach God. I was supposed to be a leader here, yet I couldn't even feel God's presence. Frustration.
Then Belgium happened, and in case you have never heard me talk about it, Belgium is pretty much my heart-home. The people there, the churches, the youth, and of course, the SQ peeps. It is all just absolutely amazing. I could work with these people, cry to these people, talk about things I actually LIKE to talk about with people...and only get slight "you ARE weird" looks. These people understand me, they love me, they make me feel comfortable. Then the wheels started turning, of course, and I thought, "OH no. Maybe I AM supposed to be here."
So I come back. In my week at Louisville, I felt nearly committed. I gave an 80% Yes to the director for my moving to Belgium, which would've required 10 months of hard-core fund- and support-raising. I talked with a lot of people about it. I couldn't come to a peaceful conclusion...it was still a little murky. Then I started questioning my motives for things. I figured out some selfishness on both ends (PC and SQ), and I even made a Pros and Cons list in my notebook. I had a Skype Date with my Belgian Mission BFF Girl Mentor until 3am because I had 6 days until my decision was to be made to the director.
Here was the dilemma: I was nominated for the program in Africa to leave in November, and they usually send you an invitation 6 weeks in advance. Which meant I still had another month...yet I hate 6 days to decide! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Frustration to the max.
I had my Skype date on Monday night/Tuesday morning...the 23rd. On the 24th, a Placement Officer from the PC called to touch base and to ask my permission to be switched as a nominee to a different program leaving in October. Pacific Islands. Picture: big eyes, open mouth, slight stutter, rumbling thoughts, rumbling excitement, rumbling interjections...
The story gets a tad more complicated.
**PS, I apologize for the length. I just want the story to go down in history! Okay.
The story gets a tad more complicated. My former roomie is getting married Oct. 16. I'm a bridesmaid, I tell the lady officer. "Oh," she says, "You'll leave before then."
Basically, the Pacific Islands were my only shot unless I wanted to leave after January and risk my file even being considered. I said DO IT.
She sent the invitation THAT day, as I received an email the following day to tell me my invitation was sent.
I didn't know the country, I didn't know any details...when I would leave, la la la.
Drum roll...
I leave on October 5th for a 2-day orientation in some major city that I"ll find out in a couple of weeks, and on Oct. 7 I ship out to TONGA! I receive training until Dec. 16, when my service as a teacher starts. The kids are out of school the first 6 weeks my service begins, but I"ll be put into various community projects to become more unified (and talked about, I'm sure :)) in this dominantly Christian culture. On an island. For 2 years. ON AN ISLAND! Like a Pacific one! Surrounded by the Pacific Ocean...!
When I found out I was getting the invitation, I immediately called the SQ director, and told him that I was 100% PC. I can tell you exactly why. Because with PC, I had confidence out my ears. With SQ, I felt hesitant and not fully at peace. With PC, I felt 100% excitement, but with SQ, the hesitancy lessened the Jamie Excitement Factor. You know what that is, right? The JEF? If you have known me long, you know when I'm excited. It can be obnoxious and sometimes overwhelming, but if you're reading this, you love me, so you can deal. :D
So NOW...Jamie is leaving in 5 weeks and 3 days. For Tonga. A kindgom in the Pacific Isands with a constitutional monarchy and papayas and mangoes, where I have to wear long skirts and dresses, where I'll bike and boat a lot, where I'll struggle under a more conventional patriarchy (Lord help me,) where I may or may not live alone with or without electricity, where I may have to eat corned beef (Lord help me more), where I can hike up a volcanic mountain, where I can swim in the Pacific Ocean, where I can dance traditional dances and sing in church choirs, where internet could be twice a week or once a month, where men try to marry me off, where I'll stutter through my beginning stages of Tongan, where I'll have 3 pairs of shoes (what a relief, too,) and where I'll probably be nicknamed the Pale Face, only in Tongan. Guys, the Jamie Excitement Factor has exploded.
I see it as a new season of LOST.
LOST--Tonga: The Jamie Chronicles
It has potential.
I applied for the Peace Corps at the end of January/beginning of Feb. The day I submitted my application, I received an email from the founder of SQ, asking me to consider moving to Belgium next summer for at least 2 years to work with the SQ Belgium team as a missionary. Wow.
To be honest, I didn't pray about it a whole lot during the semester. I wanted the Peace Corps. Then I graduated, moved home, and within 3 days I was driving to Indianapolis for my adventurous summer, living with a host family who I didn't know, working in a church where I'd never been, and rooming/working with a girl I'd never met. In the SQ atmosphere, I felt like I was learning a lot about the organization... well, about missions in general. I did things way out of my comfort zone (like soliciting for food, for example,) and I worked in an environment that doesn't particularly suit my working preference (at a desk, in front of a computer... doing computery desk things. My ADD kicks in a lot. And my eyes hurt.)
The Indy Project was mine and Laura's baby--we organized it all. The hairiest details, the largest activities. We (wo)manned the thing. But it was frustrating. I felt at the mercy of people rather than God, and I felt spiritually suffocated. I thought, "No, No way. There is no way I can be a missionary when I can't even handle a 10-day project!" I cried a lot in a 10-day period. I was utterly frustrated with myself because I could not reach God. I was supposed to be a leader here, yet I couldn't even feel God's presence. Frustration.
Then Belgium happened, and in case you have never heard me talk about it, Belgium is pretty much my heart-home. The people there, the churches, the youth, and of course, the SQ peeps. It is all just absolutely amazing. I could work with these people, cry to these people, talk about things I actually LIKE to talk about with people...and only get slight "you ARE weird" looks. These people understand me, they love me, they make me feel comfortable. Then the wheels started turning, of course, and I thought, "OH no. Maybe I AM supposed to be here."
So I come back. In my week at Louisville, I felt nearly committed. I gave an 80% Yes to the director for my moving to Belgium, which would've required 10 months of hard-core fund- and support-raising. I talked with a lot of people about it. I couldn't come to a peaceful conclusion...it was still a little murky. Then I started questioning my motives for things. I figured out some selfishness on both ends (PC and SQ), and I even made a Pros and Cons list in my notebook. I had a Skype Date with my Belgian Mission BFF Girl Mentor until 3am because I had 6 days until my decision was to be made to the director.
Here was the dilemma: I was nominated for the program in Africa to leave in November, and they usually send you an invitation 6 weeks in advance. Which meant I still had another month...yet I hate 6 days to decide! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Frustration to the max.
I had my Skype date on Monday night/Tuesday morning...the 23rd. On the 24th, a Placement Officer from the PC called to touch base and to ask my permission to be switched as a nominee to a different program leaving in October. Pacific Islands. Picture: big eyes, open mouth, slight stutter, rumbling thoughts, rumbling excitement, rumbling interjections...
The story gets a tad more complicated.
**PS, I apologize for the length. I just want the story to go down in history! Okay.
The story gets a tad more complicated. My former roomie is getting married Oct. 16. I'm a bridesmaid, I tell the lady officer. "Oh," she says, "You'll leave before then."
Basically, the Pacific Islands were my only shot unless I wanted to leave after January and risk my file even being considered. I said DO IT.
She sent the invitation THAT day, as I received an email the following day to tell me my invitation was sent.
I didn't know the country, I didn't know any details...when I would leave, la la la.
Drum roll...
I leave on October 5th for a 2-day orientation in some major city that I"ll find out in a couple of weeks, and on Oct. 7 I ship out to TONGA! I receive training until Dec. 16, when my service as a teacher starts. The kids are out of school the first 6 weeks my service begins, but I"ll be put into various community projects to become more unified (and talked about, I'm sure :)) in this dominantly Christian culture. On an island. For 2 years. ON AN ISLAND! Like a Pacific one! Surrounded by the Pacific Ocean...!
When I found out I was getting the invitation, I immediately called the SQ director, and told him that I was 100% PC. I can tell you exactly why. Because with PC, I had confidence out my ears. With SQ, I felt hesitant and not fully at peace. With PC, I felt 100% excitement, but with SQ, the hesitancy lessened the Jamie Excitement Factor. You know what that is, right? The JEF? If you have known me long, you know when I'm excited. It can be obnoxious and sometimes overwhelming, but if you're reading this, you love me, so you can deal. :D
So NOW...Jamie is leaving in 5 weeks and 3 days. For Tonga. A kindgom in the Pacific Isands with a constitutional monarchy and papayas and mangoes, where I have to wear long skirts and dresses, where I'll bike and boat a lot, where I'll struggle under a more conventional patriarchy (Lord help me,) where I may or may not live alone with or without electricity, where I may have to eat corned beef (Lord help me more), where I can hike up a volcanic mountain, where I can swim in the Pacific Ocean, where I can dance traditional dances and sing in church choirs, where internet could be twice a week or once a month, where men try to marry me off, where I'll stutter through my beginning stages of Tongan, where I'll have 3 pairs of shoes (what a relief, too,) and where I'll probably be nicknamed the Pale Face, only in Tongan. Guys, the Jamie Excitement Factor has exploded.
I see it as a new season of LOST.
LOST--Tonga: The Jamie Chronicles
It has potential.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Peace Corps Update...Holy Cow
So I got a random phone call from the Peace Corps Placement Office today. They wanted to just brush up on basic concerns, etc. Then the lady said that she felt like I would fit better with a different program. The Pacific Islands.
Yeah, those. Like the ones to the east of Australia, little specks of...specks on a world map.
She asked me if I would feel comfortable biking, boating, and swimming for transportation. Check.
Would I feel okay in a setting where I might deal with loneliness, or a tad bit of locational seclusion? Check. I'll have my composition notebooks. Double check.
She said that the program leaving for Africa in November has fewer slots--a small team going over, and she was afraid my qualifications weren't what they needed. She was afraid the positions would be filled before they even got to my file.
The program leaves in October, she said, and I said, "Well, that's fine, but I'm in a wedding in October...like the 16th."
OH...well, you'll leave before then. You'll leave like the beginning of October.
Hmm. Oh. Okay. So I asked some more questions. Would I still be considered for Africa? Not likely. What other programs could I be considered for? Nothing until after January, at which point your file may or may not be considered.
Sign me up for October, I said. I'll talk to the bride.
I should hear back within 1-2 weeks.
HOLY CRAP!!!
Yeah, those. Like the ones to the east of Australia, little specks of...specks on a world map.
She asked me if I would feel comfortable biking, boating, and swimming for transportation. Check.
Would I feel okay in a setting where I might deal with loneliness, or a tad bit of locational seclusion? Check. I'll have my composition notebooks. Double check.
She said that the program leaving for Africa in November has fewer slots--a small team going over, and she was afraid my qualifications weren't what they needed. She was afraid the positions would be filled before they even got to my file.
The program leaves in October, she said, and I said, "Well, that's fine, but I'm in a wedding in October...like the 16th."
OH...well, you'll leave before then. You'll leave like the beginning of October.
Hmm. Oh. Okay. So I asked some more questions. Would I still be considered for Africa? Not likely. What other programs could I be considered for? Nothing until after January, at which point your file may or may not be considered.
Sign me up for October, I said. I'll talk to the bride.
I should hear back within 1-2 weeks.
HOLY CRAP!!!
Monday, August 23, 2010
My Life, the Musical
In Belgium I was in a skit like they do on Whose Line Is It, Anyway?--the one where there's a party host, then he has to guess what's wrong with all the guests who arrive. I was the character who thought her life was a musical. I was easy to pick out as soon as I sang "The Sound of Music" upon entrance and when I sang my name to him for introductions. He pegged me after that.
I'm feeling musical-y today because my emotions are so manic-depressive and manic-expressive that only music could fit the mood.
"Maybe This Time" from Cabaret brings out my stuck-in-a-rut-and-trying-to-get-out-of-it mood.
"I Have Confidence" from The Sound of Music is the song I'll sing, I think, once I've figured out my life. Okay, that's a bit of an understatement. Once I've figured out the next move, then I can sing it, I think.
"Say it to Me Now" from Once is one of my all-time favorites. Glen Hansard sings this with so much...heart and gusto and brokenness. Sometimes I sing it to God because it goes with our relationship as much as it does a broken romantic relationship, which I, thank God, do not have right now. As Charlotte Lucas says to Lizzie in Pride and Prejudice, "Some of us cannot afford to be romantic." Amen, sister.
"Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" from Oklahoma. Only I would sing it satirically. Not that the mornings are beautiful, but things are definitely not going my way.
"Don't Rain on My Parade" from Funny Girl. Okay, I first heard this on Glee, so my knowledge of musicals is slightly delapidated, but this is that gusto I've been lookin' for.
"La Vie Bohem" from Rent brings out my hippiness and my philosophical/spiritual obsession with... well, philosophical and spiritual hippiness. And sometimes when I don't care what others think, this is my anthem. Yessss.
I'm feeling musical-y today because my emotions are so manic-depressive and manic-expressive that only music could fit the mood.
"Maybe This Time" from Cabaret brings out my stuck-in-a-rut-and-trying-to-get-out-of-it mood.
"I Have Confidence" from The Sound of Music is the song I'll sing, I think, once I've figured out my life. Okay, that's a bit of an understatement. Once I've figured out the next move, then I can sing it, I think.
"Say it to Me Now" from Once is one of my all-time favorites. Glen Hansard sings this with so much...heart and gusto and brokenness. Sometimes I sing it to God because it goes with our relationship as much as it does a broken romantic relationship, which I, thank God, do not have right now. As Charlotte Lucas says to Lizzie in Pride and Prejudice, "Some of us cannot afford to be romantic." Amen, sister.
"Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" from Oklahoma. Only I would sing it satirically. Not that the mornings are beautiful, but things are definitely not going my way.
"Don't Rain on My Parade" from Funny Girl. Okay, I first heard this on Glee, so my knowledge of musicals is slightly delapidated, but this is that gusto I've been lookin' for.
"La Vie Bohem" from Rent brings out my hippiness and my philosophical/spiritual obsession with... well, philosophical and spiritual hippiness. And sometimes when I don't care what others think, this is my anthem. Yessss.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Peace Corps Update...Finally
My medical evaluation has been cleared...meaning the next step for me is...
to wait. Some more.
BUT the next step for them is to compare me with applicants and, if they so choose, to send me an invitation to leave! If I get the invitation, I have to apply for a Peace Corps passport and probably do a million other things in preparation.
I've been deliberating whether or not to do the PC based on other opportunities. I'm still not sure about it and I don't seem to be getting any answers from the man upstairs, but I can't help but get excited about this.
By the way, only 15% of applicants are medically cleared in the first go-around, so I feel relieved. And thankful to all the 5-6 nurses who ran around crazy trying to get everything together for me. The physical was friggin INTENSE. I got either 2 or 3shots, had to get a pap, (yikes), blood drawn, things in the blood tested to make sure I wasn't diseased, etc. My favorite nurse said, "Poor girl, we've poked and prodded you from all angles!" She wasn't kidding.
But now I'm not being poked and prodded anymore. Now I'm waiting. Waiting on acceptance from one organization, waiting on answers from God, waiting on the go-ahead to join another organization.... oh, life. Maybe I am being poked and prodded.
to wait. Some more.
BUT the next step for them is to compare me with applicants and, if they so choose, to send me an invitation to leave! If I get the invitation, I have to apply for a Peace Corps passport and probably do a million other things in preparation.
I've been deliberating whether or not to do the PC based on other opportunities. I'm still not sure about it and I don't seem to be getting any answers from the man upstairs, but I can't help but get excited about this.
By the way, only 15% of applicants are medically cleared in the first go-around, so I feel relieved. And thankful to all the 5-6 nurses who ran around crazy trying to get everything together for me. The physical was friggin INTENSE. I got either 2 or 3shots, had to get a pap, (yikes), blood drawn, things in the blood tested to make sure I wasn't diseased, etc. My favorite nurse said, "Poor girl, we've poked and prodded you from all angles!" She wasn't kidding.
But now I'm not being poked and prodded anymore. Now I'm waiting. Waiting on acceptance from one organization, waiting on answers from God, waiting on the go-ahead to join another organization.... oh, life. Maybe I am being poked and prodded.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Now I remember why I don't like it here.
It gets lonely now that I'm different.
I stare through the kitchen door to the wide
open field during the prayer before dinner
and I stare at the tv as you watch;
I stare into the traps of wasted time,
wondering if you would give up
your television shows to see me. You
told me you wouldn't visit me,
wherever I go. You told me I better be careful
because despite my new life, I was
"raised right" but that alliteration
is exhausting because now I
realize that in the latter half of my life,
I haven't been raised--I've been pushed,
stifled, crammed, smothered
into your box, and it wasn't 'right'
because the only right is something
we're both defending. Something we say
we're defending, but we're defending pride;
you're defending your Box-God, I'm defending
the God of the wide open field that
feels the loneliness of my thoughts
as you finish the prayer with
"Amen".
It gets lonely now that I'm different.
I stare through the kitchen door to the wide
open field during the prayer before dinner
and I stare at the tv as you watch;
I stare into the traps of wasted time,
wondering if you would give up
your television shows to see me. You
told me you wouldn't visit me,
wherever I go. You told me I better be careful
because despite my new life, I was
"raised right" but that alliteration
is exhausting because now I
realize that in the latter half of my life,
I haven't been raised--I've been pushed,
stifled, crammed, smothered
into your box, and it wasn't 'right'
because the only right is something
we're both defending. Something we say
we're defending, but we're defending pride;
you're defending your Box-God, I'm defending
the God of the wide open field that
feels the loneliness of my thoughts
as you finish the prayer with
"Amen".
Monday, August 16, 2010
Me and My Keyboard
Oh how wonderful it is to caress my favorite instrument.
Haha. That's a funny line. I'm leaving it.
I hate saying tickling the ivories because tickling makes it sound way too un-serious. Caress sounds a bit too sexual, but sometimes I think musicians and the music they play...it's all sexual anyway, isn't it?
Moving on.
So I've played my little keyboard several times--I've yet to make it to the basement to the real thing, but that time will come. I love that old upright piano. It's between 80-100 years old, it's a little beaten from a fall, and it's twangy. But it's awesome. The D in the next to last octave doesn't play anymore, but I can manage it.
I love musical scores. The Legends of the Fall has one of my favorite scores in it--I don't even know what it's called, but I love it. And I just recently figured out the score to The Painted Veil (with Edward Norton, my favorite skinny boy with the nice voice and great nose,) and I LOVE IT. Please listen to it. I know it takes a big dork to obsess over movie scores, but I don't think you'll regret it. It's amazing.
Well, back to my filling out job applications and eating melted Belgian chocolate and reading books that really shouldn't be in my presence but are. I laugh with sneaky indulgence. Ha-haha!
Haha. That's a funny line. I'm leaving it.
I hate saying tickling the ivories because tickling makes it sound way too un-serious. Caress sounds a bit too sexual, but sometimes I think musicians and the music they play...it's all sexual anyway, isn't it?
Moving on.
So I've played my little keyboard several times--I've yet to make it to the basement to the real thing, but that time will come. I love that old upright piano. It's between 80-100 years old, it's a little beaten from a fall, and it's twangy. But it's awesome. The D in the next to last octave doesn't play anymore, but I can manage it.
I love musical scores. The Legends of the Fall has one of my favorite scores in it--I don't even know what it's called, but I love it. And I just recently figured out the score to The Painted Veil (with Edward Norton, my favorite skinny boy with the nice voice and great nose,) and I LOVE IT. Please listen to it. I know it takes a big dork to obsess over movie scores, but I don't think you'll regret it. It's amazing.
Well, back to my filling out job applications and eating melted Belgian chocolate and reading books that really shouldn't be in my presence but are. I laugh with sneaky indulgence. Ha-haha!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
From Louisville to Scottsville
I'd nearly forgotten how beautiful Kentucky was.
Do you know how beautiful Kentucky is? Well, it's beautiful. Even on the interstate, where lightpoles lead to billboards which lead to cities and their adult bookstores, it doesn't matter. Kentucky is beautiful. Billboards (by the way, did you know that I hate them? I feel like they're one big obnoxious hiccup in nature,) are totally swallowed by the big green hills. Billboards look like a tiny sore amongst a huge beautiful field with hay bales and cows.
It stormed most of the way to Scottsville, but it was beautiful. It didn't rain a lot, but it threatened. To my right was a spread of bright orange and soft gray/blue puff-clouds that held the most beautiful sunset I've seen in a while. To my left was the pissed-off looking sky, dark stone and a blue so cold it makes your eyebrows raise. It was awesome!
The lightning started just after E-town and got more prominent as I passed through Glasgow and into my hometown. I thought that if it was an omen, I may have rough times ahead. But ya know, it barely rained on me, which is lucky because I need new windshield wipers.
Everything was beautiful and wonderful and I actually listened to one whole Praise CD (which is kind of a big deal compared to all the non-Christian CDs I own), and I actually talked to God and had some worship time. And I didn't worry about what the other drivers thought (as if I ever did,) and I just talked to God. Discussed the upcoming months with him. I asked him questions, which, let's face it, remain unanswered, but I'm okay with that. I don't feel super pressed to find answers right now. I think I need to relax.
I can relax and embrace the storm, I can relax and watch all the colorful sky-mosaics just fade, watching the orange blink into gray, blink into dark.
Do you know how beautiful Kentucky is? Well, it's beautiful. Even on the interstate, where lightpoles lead to billboards which lead to cities and their adult bookstores, it doesn't matter. Kentucky is beautiful. Billboards (by the way, did you know that I hate them? I feel like they're one big obnoxious hiccup in nature,) are totally swallowed by the big green hills. Billboards look like a tiny sore amongst a huge beautiful field with hay bales and cows.
It stormed most of the way to Scottsville, but it was beautiful. It didn't rain a lot, but it threatened. To my right was a spread of bright orange and soft gray/blue puff-clouds that held the most beautiful sunset I've seen in a while. To my left was the pissed-off looking sky, dark stone and a blue so cold it makes your eyebrows raise. It was awesome!
The lightning started just after E-town and got more prominent as I passed through Glasgow and into my hometown. I thought that if it was an omen, I may have rough times ahead. But ya know, it barely rained on me, which is lucky because I need new windshield wipers.
Everything was beautiful and wonderful and I actually listened to one whole Praise CD (which is kind of a big deal compared to all the non-Christian CDs I own), and I actually talked to God and had some worship time. And I didn't worry about what the other drivers thought (as if I ever did,) and I just talked to God. Discussed the upcoming months with him. I asked him questions, which, let's face it, remain unanswered, but I'm okay with that. I don't feel super pressed to find answers right now. I think I need to relax.
I can relax and embrace the storm, I can relax and watch all the colorful sky-mosaics just fade, watching the orange blink into gray, blink into dark.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Dustin' off the Blog
So it's been a month since I've frequented poor bloggy-woggy, but in Belgium I went through another notebook, so another one (now green...the last two were that ugly mustardy yellow color that I like) has been started. Oh, I love wriitng words. And drawing pictures.
I like going through my old notebooks, too. I read through the last finished one (or part of it), and realized that I write more poetry than I thought, I like writing in different directions, I like drawing funny pictures, and I title nearly all of my entries.
My favorite entry was on the back of a page (which I hardly ever do), and halfway down, it says, "F you, Ann Coulter."
Must've been a bad day, because I normally don't care about politics, and I hardly ever watch television where political figures (no matter how stupid or smart) are speaking. She really pissed me off that day.
Here are some updates:
I just got back from Belgium 3 days ago...it was amazing. I reconnected with old friends, made new ones, and realized that I really AM in love with Belgium. It's home in a very odd sort of way.
I officially left Indianapolis yesterday. It's been my home this whole summer, and my family there was incredible.
Now I am in Louisville with my sister and her family, and it's great. My nieces absolutely have my heart...they are beautiful and hilarious (yep, even 4 month old Kendall), and I love the personality Ella is forming. It's awesome!
No word from the Peace Corps yet. Frustration.
This weekend, I'm going home to my parents' house to live for a while. It will be very challenging because I've been on my own for 4 years, just bouncing where I please. But this is a totally new dynamic. It should be interesting.
In Jesus land, I've gained a lot of perspective this summer. I've learned lots of things, I've met lots of people, and I feel like I know myself more. Most of all, I think I know God more. He and I had some struggles this year because I didn't understand him and honestly, I didn't want to a lot. We kind of got on each other's nerves a little...well, I think I got on his nerves. If I were God, I would get on my nerves. ANYway, I got a bit self-indulged this past year, which happens, but I feel like my inner Christian hippie is growing and waking up to more opportunities and more growth. I even hope to start making my own clothes this year! Even if it's just socks and beanie hats, I'm totally okay with that.
I like going through my old notebooks, too. I read through the last finished one (or part of it), and realized that I write more poetry than I thought, I like writing in different directions, I like drawing funny pictures, and I title nearly all of my entries.
My favorite entry was on the back of a page (which I hardly ever do), and halfway down, it says, "F you, Ann Coulter."
Must've been a bad day, because I normally don't care about politics, and I hardly ever watch television where political figures (no matter how stupid or smart) are speaking. She really pissed me off that day.
Here are some updates:
I just got back from Belgium 3 days ago...it was amazing. I reconnected with old friends, made new ones, and realized that I really AM in love with Belgium. It's home in a very odd sort of way.
I officially left Indianapolis yesterday. It's been my home this whole summer, and my family there was incredible.
Now I am in Louisville with my sister and her family, and it's great. My nieces absolutely have my heart...they are beautiful and hilarious (yep, even 4 month old Kendall), and I love the personality Ella is forming. It's awesome!
No word from the Peace Corps yet. Frustration.
This weekend, I'm going home to my parents' house to live for a while. It will be very challenging because I've been on my own for 4 years, just bouncing where I please. But this is a totally new dynamic. It should be interesting.
In Jesus land, I've gained a lot of perspective this summer. I've learned lots of things, I've met lots of people, and I feel like I know myself more. Most of all, I think I know God more. He and I had some struggles this year because I didn't understand him and honestly, I didn't want to a lot. We kind of got on each other's nerves a little...well, I think I got on his nerves. If I were God, I would get on my nerves. ANYway, I got a bit self-indulged this past year, which happens, but I feel like my inner Christian hippie is growing and waking up to more opportunities and more growth. I even hope to start making my own clothes this year! Even if it's just socks and beanie hats, I'm totally okay with that.
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